Apparently it’s possible to be too intelligent. Specially if you’re a woman.
Last week’s one night stand was a Ph.D candidate from Canada, and she nearly cried her heart out complaining that Sri Lankan men don’t like girls with too much “qualifications”. I had to disagree, but she insisted that I’m not marriage-material. I dunno whether I should be relived or worried?!?
But anyhoo, she’s right. Most of me friends did in the end marry girls who would stay at home, cook & clean, and be decent housewives. I’ve even heard one of them saying that the worst thing that can happen to a man is marrying someone who’s more intelligent than you.
Maybe I’m not very good at this selection process, but I’ve always been intrigued by girls who can sustain a good conversation. Be it debating about the general theory of relativity or the dynamics of information entropy, I love women who are fascinated by science and the world around them.
It’s a really a rare catch to find an intelligent woman, and when I do, I seem to stick with them for a longer period of time. Until of course they get fed-up with me not keeping up.
So this is kind of an ode to intelligent women. Please consider that there are guys who love your company. Even though you don’t consider us “marriage-material”.
The hilarious radio conversation I overheard when driving this morning goes a little bit like this:
Woman: Even though we have gained independence from the British, we are still not free.
Radio guy: Can you give us an example?
Woman: Have you seen little girls doing gymnastics? They practice very hard and when the competition starts, the girls have to perform infront of all her friends and family. And they do this wearing very little clothing. What does this do to our culture? We have a great Sinhala Buddhist culture, and we throwing it away for gymnasitics.
(At this point I was cracking up. And barely had control over the wheel.)
Radio guy: So you’re saying that girls should not be allowed the freedom of doing gymnasitics?
Woman: No.. uh yes. They should. But they should also know that wearing a skimpy outfit for a Sinhala-Buddhist lady is throwing away all that she has. Errr…. the woman is a wonderful creature I think. But all the wonder and beauty goes away when a woman lets go of her shame and fear.
Radio guy: But you can’t do gymnastics wearing a redda and hetta? [translation: traditional dress]
Woman: Yes. You can’t. But look at all the woman who have succeeded in their lives today. Have they done gymnastics? Have they worn skimpy outfits that bring shame on themselves? No. They have a good sense of shame and fear and they are all faithful to their husbands.
I actually wrote something on women’s freedom a little time back, and Sam gave an awesome comment which explained a lot. But I still had to write this down, I had so much fun listening to this.
We could use a little sexyness in the parliament. With the exception of Anarkali, we haven’t really seen any pop divas around the rich and powerful. Everyone needs a reason to be righteous right?
Maybe the country could use a little bit of girl power…
Read this strange article on the history of mechanical vibrators. It says that vibrators were a byproduct to save the labour intensive work that male doctors had to go through when women were diagnosed with “Female hysteria”. This was back in the 17th century, where western society was much like the conservative Sri Lanka today.
Back then women were not supposed to feel the pleasure of orgasm. Sex was just a male thing, and women were just the tools of our lust. Just a place to spill the seed, so to speak. No wonder women were so degraded back then!
The article prolifically goes on to say that
“Women of that era were socialized to believe that “ladies” had no sex drive, and were merely passive receptacles for men’s unbridled lust, which they had to endure to hang on to their husbands and have children. Not surprisingly, these beliefs led to a great deal of sexual frustration on the part of women.”
I can only attribute this kind of thinking to a some sort of mass-domination fetish that people had in the old days. Women are complicated little creatures by themselves. Why in the world do we have to make life more complicated for them?
Judging from the various posts on kottu, it’s apparent that our “ladies” have really no say in this. Their basic issue usually is whether their virginity is worth saving or not!
And as amusing as it is, some of young girls fighting for women’s rights believe that their struggle is not for equality but for the “proper place” in society. And according to them their proper place in society is as caring mothers. Not independent women who aren’t afraid to feel for themselves.
And for all you guardians of morality, being independent and being raunchy are two different things. You’re just scared of women being independent will leave you with no one to cook and clean around the house.
As Sam would say, our fully-Victorian Christian society will probably never come to the stand that women also do have desires. And thus, women will forever be the tools of our lust. And the victims of our insecurity.
