Come back to motherland….. (Are you fucking kidding me?)

February 11, 2008

The fairy tale website of “Lanka Rising” has done it again. Compiling some words such as brain-drain and open economy into one sentence, they think they’ve succeeded in making a point: Come to Sri Lanka, if you’re completely insane and are naive enough to fall for our patriotic bullshit.

As a citizen living in Sri Lanka I can tell all you diaspora this. If you come to Sri Lanka you will have the following privelages:

  • Real-time experience in living in a suicide zone.

Even though stats will tell you that getting knocked down by a private bus is more probable that getting blown to bits by a suicide bomber, fear not, sooner or later the LTTE will go completely underground and Iraq will be safer than Colombo.

  • A very considerate salary

The Marine Pollution Prevention Authority is considering to hire a Marine Biologist (with a First class or Second upper in Biology) for the lump salary of 16,000Rs per month. Boys and girls, my advice to you is don’t complete your A’Ls, get a driving license, and be a driver. You will at least be rewarded for your effort.

  • Get fucked up by SLAS officers

The tragedy which is Sri Lanka lies mostly on the hands of administrative officers. Without knowing a single grain of science and/or economy, these people create muck in organizations. Their inferiority complex is higher than that of the Sinhala race, and probably justified as that of the Tamil race. Holding science graduates and postgraduates as bait, they dance around as if “I know the law putha!”

  • Get pissed on by politicians

Do I need to explain?

  • Get harassed by the Police

The blogsphere has been full of these stories.

  • Live life in slo-mo

In Sri Lanka “the customer is no-da-king”. So be prepared for long waits where ever you go. Not only in the public sector but also in the private sector.

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9 Responses to “Come back to motherland….. (Are you fucking kidding me?)”

  1. sam Says:

    I just left a long comment on Lanka Rising site. Even though I don’t agree with some of his posts, I read all of his posts, because they never fail to amuse me.

    Anyway, don’t you think, if the war is over (lets think for a second, it will be), things will be better, if expatriates look back to Sri Lanka? They have better knowledge, experience and money too. I think, at least I hope, they will have a fair chance of replacing most of the established system in the country.
    Sri Lanka do need a breath of fresh air after the war is over. The only chance is expatriates been actively engage in the country. I do not mean they do have to stupid enough to live here, but at least strength the ties with the country. But at the same time, the country needs to open the door for them too. I quite doubt that will happen easily, because religious conservatives are waiting eagerly grab more power after the war is over. And some expatriates used to live in countries where religion is separated from government, they may do not want to take a step back.

  2. sittingnut Says:

    this post reminds song ‘ironic’ by alanis morissette

    mr metheblogger packed his bags went to usofa ..

    got a high paying job as a janitor
    get fucked up by irs officers
    got pissed by american politicians
    got harassed by the police ( for driving while brown)
    thought he lived life in fast lane, so fast he didn’t notice his own life
    finally got killed by the next al queda suicide attack.

    all the while he was thinking “isn’t this nice.. its not sl ” .

  3. sittingnut Says:

    i don’t believe in patriotism but in individualism
    everyone should base decision is on where their prospects are better as individuals. these differ from person to person and their abilities .
    personally i would stick to sl all things considered ( from relative economic growth to opportunities available to those who want to take them to society, to culture … )

    broad categorizations don’t work one way or other

  4. Jack Point Says:

    Ha ha this is a good one.

    Sam, “Anyway, don’t you think, if the war is over (lets think for a second, it will be), things will be better”

    true, but there is bloody great IF…..

  5. hani Says:

    omg u r so interesting

  6. Human Says:

    Sam “Anyway, don’t you think, if the war is over (lets think for a second, it will be),”…

    Jack Point “true, but there is bloody great IF…..”

    I think it really doesn’t have to be a big if. Not if we use this sophisticated method to fight the tigers.

  7. Onan Says:

    Sittingnut I don’t think you’ve understood the difference between individuality and individualism. As opposed to individualism, which is a cult around the individual, individuality is about knowing yourself and believing in who you are. That individualism, materialism, multi-culturalism and the like hold sway over the upper classes is no accident – rather they are ideologies that the masses have been fooled into accepting because they ultimately help the corporations extensive marketing campaigns succeed, in that we buy more stuff, basically.

    This kind of thinking is fatalistic and is the very reason why our country is in this situation in the first place. Your advice is selfish individualism based around material wealth first and foremost, something you should have figured out is “bad” by now. One of the most important things we can do to strengthen the future is encourage the most intelligent to come back and put the future before themselves. Otherwise the economy will be crashed in a bad way, the military and government will soon be taken over by even bigger idiots, and the whole country will become an even dirtier, uglier place. Think about it, had more people decided not to leave and stood up to political bullshit using their brains, a lot of problems could have been avoided. Instead everybody who can afford to do so runs away (usually people who could have done something had they given a damn about anything but themselves) and we are left with idiots in charge of everything. Everyone else complains and does nothing about it.

    And what about the people who leave. Do you really think the rest of the world gives a damn about Sri Lankans when they migrate there? For example, is there a chance of Sri lankans becoming say President of the USA? The jokes on them cos the countries know these people will do anything to remain there and so theyll be used and exploited until the economies in those countries go bust.

    Individualism and materialism is for the less intelligent, those who can’t see more than a week beyond their own actions.


  8. […] country, we choose on the contrary to take our chances in the war ridden, corrupted and utterly useless country that we call home. How the power of human conscience suppresses the innate survival […]

  9. Baby Z Says:

    Brings back memories of vacations in SL.


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