Wedding Bells Go Away

May 25, 2008

In this part of the globe, there comes a time in life where its virtually impossible to escape from marriage proposals. And pesky gossiping aunties.

I don’t make it a habit to visit my relatives. But quite so rarely when I do, I get bombarded with questions, hints and suggestions. My reaction as always is to crack some jokes at their expense about the-oh-so-beautiful-married-life, which for some reason doesn’t come off as offending to them as I would like.

Is it just me or do these old ladies have perverted minds that fantasize about me going down on some young innocent virgin. Yeah, it’s probably just me…. but anyhoo…

It seems that marriage is the only way to go ahead with life as they know it. It also seems that marriage is the only way to have sex. I’m not the person who convince kids that Santa Claus is real so I described the various lucrative options offered by massage parlours in Colombo to one pesky aunty, but realized mum was intently following my discussion and cut short on the details.

Its bad enough that I can’t convince me parents and aunties that I don’t need a suitable partner. But its worse to see that the people I love so dearly want to put me in the same misery they have put themselves in.

It’s not that I don’t like girls. They smell nice and occasionally have an overwhelmingly awesome maternal instinct that that drives even men like meself wild with emotion. But I would never consider spending the rest of my life with one.

For one, these creatures have been suppressed by society for the entirety of their lives. Either they’ll expect you to be their Master and Daddy Dearest who spoils and disciplines… Or they’ll yearn to be independent inside and whatever you do will not make any significant difference. (Refer the movie “Little Children”)

Secondly, marriage is a bad business idea. If you decide to quit, she gets half of what you own. If she decides to quit, she still gets half of what you own. If no one decides to quit, she gets everything you own; including your soul, credit card details and future dreams/prospects.

Thirdly and most importantly, marriage is an emotional nightmare. I’ve blogged about why it’s an outdated concept, but since most people are afraid to agree with me way of thinking, let me put it this way; marriage puts a lot of strain on the emotional cortex, and forces you to become the same person for the rest of your life. A price that most people would willing pay for stability and the illusion long-term commitment.

I see no fun in any of dat. Only misery.

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6 Responses to “Wedding Bells Go Away”


  1. […] rachel wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptIn this part of the globe, there comes a time in life where its virtually impossible to escape from marriage proposals. And pesky gossiping aunties. I don’t make it a habit to visit my relatives. But quite so rarely when I do, … […]

  2. sheena Says:

    “It’s not that I don’t like girls. They smell nice and occasionally have an overwhelmingly awesome maternal instinct that that drives even men like meself wild with emotion”.

    That sentence made me laugh.

    It also drives me crazy that marriage seems to be a must on the to do list. I must admit, I find the concept of sticking by your partner through thick and thin and the picture ‘perfect’ life encouraging, but then again, that’s through the comparison of movie screen life.

    Marriage ain’t half nasty.

  3. Niroshinie Says:

    Yes indeed! where do all these pesky aunts come from? Its as if the instant you hit your twenties all those nice ladies who used to be your aunts are suddenly transformed into marriage kapuvas from hell!
    i find the whole concept of marriage overrated anyhow…unless you can marry ‘the one’ (unless ‘the one’ isnt a myth!). can you imagine waking up next to a person you only ‘like’ for the rest of your life??
    scary..!

  4. single in my mind Says:

    After been married for what seems like an eternity and for all the wrong reasons like you mention there, I agree with you 100% too I dont believe in soul mates and all that ga…ga….My advice stay single though only drawback is you probably won’t have kids and might regret that later in life…

  5. Must i really Says:

    If you do really believe all that you write .. Good for you! … however i also think until you experience something you really dont know what its all about, we only have other peoples observations… and they may be more messed up than us …… personally i share your views to a certain extent.. but then again one never really know …

  6. Baby Z Says:

    I can’t relate with you on this one. Marriage was the right choice for me, but I understand that it’s not for everybody. Ultimately it’s your choice if and when you want to get married and from what I’ve seen arranged marriages are rarely good. That being said nobody can ever force you to get married. If you’re happy being single than I’m happy for you.


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