Wedding Bells Go Away
May 25, 2008
In this part of the globe, there comes a time in life where its virtually impossible to escape from marriage proposals. And pesky gossiping aunties.
I don’t make it a habit to visit my relatives. But quite so rarely when I do, I get bombarded with questions, hints and suggestions. My reaction as always is to crack some jokes at their expense about the-oh-so-beautiful-married-life, which for some reason doesn’t come off as offending to them as I would like.
Is it just me or do these old ladies have perverted minds that fantasize about me going down on some young innocent virgin. Yeah, it’s probably just me…. but anyhoo…
It seems that marriage is the only way to go ahead with life as they know it. It also seems that marriage is the only way to have sex. I’m not the person who convince kids that Santa Claus is real so I described the various lucrative options offered by massage parlours in Colombo to one pesky aunty, but realized mum was intently following my discussion and cut short on the details.
Its bad enough that I can’t convince me parents and aunties that I don’t need a suitable partner. But its worse to see that the people I love so dearly want to put me in the same misery they have put themselves in.
It’s not that I don’t like girls. They smell nice and occasionally have an overwhelmingly awesome maternal instinct that that drives even men like meself wild with emotion. But I would never consider spending the rest of my life with one.
For one, these creatures have been suppressed by society for the entirety of their lives. Either they’ll expect you to be their Master and Daddy Dearest who spoils and disciplines… Or they’ll yearn to be independent inside and whatever you do will not make any significant difference. (Refer the movie “Little Children”)
Secondly, marriage is a bad business idea. If you decide to quit, she gets half of what you own. If she decides to quit, she still gets half of what you own. If no one decides to quit, she gets everything you own; including your soul, credit card details and future dreams/prospects.
Thirdly and most importantly, marriage is an emotional nightmare. I’ve blogged about why it’s an outdated concept, but since most people are afraid to agree with me way of thinking, let me put it this way; marriage puts a lot of strain on the emotional cortex, and forces you to become the same person for the rest of your life. A price that most people would willing pay for stability and the illusion long-term commitment.
I see no fun in any of dat. Only misery.