Sri Lankan Security Guards

June 6, 2009

They’re all gay I tell you. All of them.

Everytime I go to work I can’t help but notice the way the guards stop in mid-conversation and check out my arse. I offer a good morning to which they smile or mornin’ me back, but they still seem to hold the stare till I walk out of sight. I can only wonder how the women feel at work..

I think part of the voyeurism is the cause of the utter boredom of the job. I mean they quite literally know that they won’t be able to do shit if some armed guy walked into the place. It’d be like taking candy from a baby- or more correctly from a malnutritioned teenager who has trouble figuring out how he fits in the world. And in an unconscious level (and perhaps even in a conscious level) they know that they’re getting paid to sit around and just mark the attendance.

But that usually doesn’t hinder them from feeling that they own the place. And if you let them talk to you, they’ll pour you over with conspiracies against national security and their role in protecting peace and harmony.

With time, even the female security guards figure out ways to establish authority and fuck with your mind. When I visited the TT services across Holiday Inn yesterday, the guards stopped me in mid motion, and asked me to switch off my cell phone. I was like WTF?!? It’s not even the embassy. But of course they had the upperhand since I was not familiar with the place. I’m sure they were laughing they’re hats off while I was fumbling with my phone trying to switch the damn thing off.

In retrospect of course, the interaction with Sri Lankan security guards is humbling. It reminds me that freedom is just an illusion and that authority and discipline are merely shields of people with large inferiority complexes.

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5 Responses to “Sri Lankan Security Guards”

  1. Santhoshi Says:

    Oh yes most of them do that…


  2. […] 12:04 PM on June 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply Look here willoo? Just when Somapala was happily reading away in this open plan bawa style internet cafe, and […]


  3. Thanks for this informative post. It is so useful for me .

  4. Baby Z Says:

    When I was visiting SL I couldn’t help but notice how many useless security guards ya’ll have. Here in the U.S. they don’t have nearly as many security guards.

  5. VeroJ Says:

    Don’t ask me why they become ‘issecurity guards’ in the first place. They’d be healthier, happier and straight, if they stuck in the village, took up farming (my friend Ranjith Hulugalle can’t find 2 honest workers in Anuradhapura), got married and had kids. We always take the wrong road to misery don’t we…why? Because of a false sense of ‘security’ wearing a uniform and doing f. nothing!


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