October 27, 2008
after reading this and the subsquent comments, two things became apparent
1.) The not-so-intelligent girls marry out of social pressure
2.) The intelligent ones marry eventually out of biological pressure
Either way, we [men] are fucked. Literally as well.
June 17, 2008
Too much of it, to be precise.
Apparently it’s possible to be too intelligent. Specially if you’re a woman.
Last week’s one night stand was a Ph.D candidate from Canada, and she nearly cried her heart out complaining that Sri Lankan men don’t like girls with too much “qualifications”. I had to disagree, but she insisted that I’m not marriage-material. I dunno whether I should be relived or worried?!?
But anyhoo, she’s right. Most of me friends did in the end marry girls who would stay at home, cook & clean, and be decent housewives. I’ve even heard one of them saying that the worst thing that can happen to a man is marrying someone who’s more intelligent than you.
Maybe I’m not very good at this selection process, but I’ve always been intrigued by girls who can sustain a good conversation. Be it debating about the general theory of relativity or the dynamics of information entropy, I love women who are fascinated by science and the world around them.
It’s a really a rare catch to find an intelligent woman, and when I do, I seem to stick with them for a longer period of time. Until of course they get fed-up with me not keeping up.
So this is kind of an ode to intelligent women. Please consider that there are guys who love your company. Even though you don’t consider us “marriage-material”.
May 25, 2008
In this part of the globe, there comes a time in life where its virtually impossible to escape from marriage proposals. And pesky gossiping aunties.
I don’t make it a habit to visit my relatives. But quite so rarely when I do, I get bombarded with questions, hints and suggestions. My reaction as always is to crack some jokes at their expense about the-oh-so-beautiful-married-life, which for some reason doesn’t come off as offending to them as I would like.
Is it just me or do these old ladies have perverted minds that fantasize about me going down on some young innocent virgin. Yeah, it’s probably just me…. but anyhoo…
It seems that marriage is the only way to go ahead with life as they know it. It also seems that marriage is the only way to have sex. I’m not the person who convince kids that Santa Claus is real so I described the various lucrative options offered by massage parlours in Colombo to one pesky aunty, but realized mum was intently following my discussion and cut short on the details.
Its bad enough that I can’t convince me parents and aunties that I don’t need a suitable partner. But its worse to see that the people I love so dearly want to put me in the same misery they have put themselves in.
It’s not that I don’t like girls. They smell nice and occasionally have an overwhelmingly awesome maternal instinct that that drives even men like meself wild with emotion. But I would never consider spending the rest of my life with one.
For one, these creatures have been suppressed by society for the entirety of their lives. Either they’ll expect you to be their Master and Daddy Dearest who spoils and disciplines… Or they’ll yearn to be independent inside and whatever you do will not make any significant difference. (Refer the movie “Little Children”)
Secondly, marriage is a bad business idea. If you decide to quit, she gets half of what you own. If she decides to quit, she still gets half of what you own. If no one decides to quit, she gets everything you own; including your soul, credit card details and future dreams/prospects.
Thirdly and most importantly, marriage is an emotional nightmare. I’ve blogged about why it’s an outdated concept, but since most people are afraid to agree with me way of thinking, let me put it this way; marriage puts a lot of strain on the emotional cortex, and forces you to become the same person for the rest of your life. A price that most people would willing pay for stability and the illusion long-term commitment.
I see no fun in any of dat. Only misery.
February 27, 2008
The concept in which our whole society is built around is completely flawed.
I don’t see how a woman in her entire life time, only be capable of falling in love with one single man. And of course how can a man only be satisfied with a single woman?
Through out history, the rich and powerful always had vivacious love lives. Kings always seemed to prefer more than one bride. Cleopatra, Queen Anula and many other women with power preferred to have several lovers at their disposal. Wealthy Arabs who could support more than one female could do as he wished. (Unfortunately the women back then were not as independent as today, so the opposite was not a reality.)
But in this day and age, where people have the power, where women are treated as equals (at least by law), and where progressive ideals such as democracy and individualism reign (at least in developed countries), why are we still trapped by the religious notion of marriage?
Most people blame it on the children. But I see it mostly as a sign of premature death. Usually, people are brain-dead by the age of 30. People rarely want to learn anything new. Their prejudices of life which were created when they were 18 still haunt their mere existence. And their ability to conjure new feelings and thoughts are drastically reduced.
The people who do break away from the concept of marriage, usual do it for the sex. Swingers and the so-called ‘key-societies’, still adhere to the concept of a couple. It’s either done for the sake of ‘keeping the marriage’ or to ‘liven things up between the two’. Therefore, these things hold no real long-term value for the individual (or couple for that matter) and usually end up in disaster.
There’s an old saying that ‘if truly love her, you have to let her go’. Why can’t we ‘let go’ every now and then?
With all the progressive thinkers in the world, why can’t people be healthy, independent self-loving individuals for once. It’s the only way that one can truly love someone else. Plus it’s a great way to mix up the gene pool, and accelerate evolution.