They’re all gay I tell you. All of them.

Everytime I go to work I can’t help but notice the way the guards stop in mid-conversation and check out my arse. I offer a good morning to which they smile or mornin’ me back, but they still seem to hold the stare till I walk out of sight. I can only wonder how the women feel at work..

I think part of the voyeurism is the cause of the utter boredom of the job. I mean they quite literally know that they won’t be able to do shit if some armed guy walked into the place. It’d be like taking candy from a baby- or more correctly from a malnutritioned teenager who has trouble figuring out how he fits in the world. And in an unconscious level (and perhaps even in a conscious level) they know that they’re getting paid to sit around and just mark the attendance.

But that usually doesn’t hinder them from feeling that they own the place. And if you let them talk to you, they’ll pour you over with conspiracies against national security and their role in protecting peace and harmony.

With time, even the female security guards figure out ways to establish authority and fuck with your mind. When I visited the TT services across Holiday Inn yesterday, the guards stopped me in mid motion, and asked me to switch off my cell phone. I was like WTF?!? It’s not even the embassy. But of course they had the upperhand since I was not familiar with the place. I’m sure they were laughing they’re hats off while I was fumbling with my phone trying to switch the damn thing off.

In retrospect of course, the interaction with Sri Lankan security guards is humbling. It reminds me that freedom is just an illusion and that authority and discipline are merely shields of people with large inferiority complexes.

Ajith has a post here, which has a screenshot of a local newspaper saying that 72% of teens are sexually active and 18% are addicted to drugs – in the same sentence. Anyone can smell the religious fundamentalist mentality in this sentence from miles away.

I’ve experimented with both sex and drugs when I was schooling. And let me tell you with empirical evidence, they are not the same thing -especially for a teen. Sex, at the right moment with the right person, can uplift your health and bring balance to a overly-pedantic and monotonous life. The experience stays with you for the rest of your life, even if the you and your partner choose to go separate ways.

Drugs on the other hand, makes people weak. The craving for a little more will eat the person from inside until she’s lost all grip of reality. The experience is definitely something you try to forget for the rest of your life.

But wut to do? The government [media] not only magically pulls out stats of someone’s arse, but also presents them in a twisted way so that religous fundamentalists can sleep well at night thinking that their lives actually do have some grand purpose.

Please Hold the Line

October 31, 2008

Our requirement is simple. We want to wind a 6kV transformer. The first company that came to mind was Lanka Transformers. So we gave them a call.

A well respectable woman answered. We explained our requirement to her probably five times over. After which she thoughtfully says “Ah..you have to talk with the tech guys. I don’t really know these technical things.” @!@#$$@!

She hung up. So we called again and asked for a name and number.

Called the number and asked for the man. “Please hold the line” was the answer. I held the line for about 5 minutes. “He seems to have gone out. Can you call in about 2 hours?”

Like I have a choice.

Called in two hours. After listening intently his answer was “I can’t really give an answer. Can you call the factory manager?”.

Yes, I did in fact call the factory manager.

Me: We want to wind a 6kV transformer. Do you undertake such jobs?

FM: What’s the wattage you want?

Me: We don’t really need any current. Just a voltage signal would do.

FM: Err…… Can you come to our factory and meet Mr. ******.

Me: Can’t I just give him a call and ask whether the job can be done?

FM: Er… you’ll have to call on Monday. I don’t think Mr. ****** is there now.

I hung up not bothering to ask what would have happened if I did go to the factory with the person I’m supposed to meet already gone.

How is it that we live in an era burgeoned by telecommunication, and yet can’t seem to grasp the gist of its economy?

I’ve been on the prowl for a new apartment these days in the Dehiwala, Mt. L, and Ratmalana area. And it is turned out to be a nightmare. Everywhere I go, I get the same answer.

“Sorry Sir, this apartment is only for foriegners.”

“Oh, when you spoke over the phone, we thought you were an expat.”

“No. This is a holiday home. And it’s meant for people from overseas.”

“Don’t take it personally, it’s a policy decision.”

Geez. What’s with the all the local hate? Do I really have that much of a godaya look?
Getting second grade treatment in your own country sucks big time. Especially when it’s a policy decision.

(Until recently I thought my friend (D) was a liberal. His homophobia only came into view when our discussion shifted from the Dark Knight to Heath Ledger. This is an excerpt of what followed after.)

Me: Man, I never realized that you hate gays/lesbians?

D: I don’t really hate them. Well, gays do put me off. But I love watching lesbians. Doesn’t everybody? (Laughs)

Me: So why don’t you like Heath?

D: Brokeback Mountain was a shame to humanity no. Homosexuality shouldn’t be given “approval” from society. Heath Ledger was one of the stupid actors who couldn’t see this, and his film gave society the wrong message. His acting is pretty good, I know. But his decision as a human being to promote homosexuality is idiotic.

Me: So you don’t want homosexuals to live openly?

D: Yeah. It’s unnatural behavior. And for the sake of our children it must be stopped. At least in public spaces. The behavior should be frowned upon and be considered as a sin. That’s what religion is for and every religion in this world says that homosexuality is bad.

Me: Buddhism doesn’t say it’s bad.

D: It’s violating the third shiksha padaya. And also the Buddha told us not to engage in lust. Homosexuality is a direct violation of that.

Me: But then heterosexuals like you and me, also give into lust no? Aren’t we doing the same thing?

D: Yes if you’re a sex addict then you’re just as bad. Sex is only okay when you want to have children. Even in Christianity they say go forth and multiply, not go forth and have sex.

Me: Don’t you have sex with your girl friend?

D: No. I can’t believe you even ask that question. We will do that in due time, when we get married.

Me: Ok. Hypothetically, let’s say you’re right. But homosexuality isn’t just about lust no?

D: It is. All they do is have sex. They’re complete sex maniacs. You don’t know the story putha. If you look closely at leading girls schools in Colombo, there are lesbians outside waiting to grab young school girls and force them to become lesbians.

Me: So you’re saying that one can turn into a lesbian?

D:Yes, of course. Are you even listening to what I’m saying? It’s worse in the gay community. Most of the sex tourists that come to Sri Lanka prey on little boys. Why? Because they can easily be turned into gays. If we legalize homosexuality, then this won’t stop. A lot of children will fall victim.

Me: Imagine if you’re a gay person. It would suck if the world doesn’t understand what you feel..

D:Well that’s too bad. Homosexuals are the minority. And their rights are conflicting with the majority’s rights. Society should always consider about the majority.

Me: So I guess you’re an Anti-Tamil person too?

D:No. I’m an Anti-LTTE person. I respect Tamils. But they should realize that Sinhaleese are the majority in this country. And they should know that we should have the power to rule.

Me: Man, we have to talk about this later. Of all the people, I never knew you could be this old school!

D:Old School? Dude, you should come down to the real world. There are a lot of bad things going on in this world that needs to be stopped.

I always knew Mahinda was a little on the flip side. But this? Seriously.

Either he’s secretly advocating print porn/prostitution, or else he’s aiming for an all time high frustration among Sri Lankan men, believing that potentially fucked up youth will increase the recruitment level of the army.

Being a Buddhist in Sri Lanka is similar to being a god-fearing advocate of the Roman Catholic Church.

I’m pissed because I was forced to hear a bana yesterday night. The fucking monk went on and on about the virtues of shame and fear (lajjawa saha baya) as if they were the foundations of society. Well, come to think of it, he is right; the very core of sinhala-buddhist practice is fear and shame.

The reason why good people dwell in silence is because of fear and shame. The reason why no body gives a fuck and nobody wants to change anything is because of fear and shame. The reason why every Sri Lankan is suspended in a cold-death like coma is because of fear and shame.

The youth who are destined to become the change in this country are reduced to 70 year-old grandmas and grandpas who would rather sit in their arm chair and look at the sky all day. Due to fear and shame.

These religious nutjobs are driving me crazy each and everyday. It’s one thing thing to be impotent and seek only tranquility in life. But depriving a whole nation of living a passionate and fulfilling life? What The Fuck?

(courtesy a forwarded mail)

This is probably funnier than the last one. The guy wants a girl who doesn’t watch Sirasa TV, but he is also ready and willing to leave beloved motherland behind and fly off to another country. An awesome example of the cognitive dissonance seen in patriotic fucktards.

Read the following (made-up?) story about a brother waking up to a “nightmare”.

Frankly, I was moved. Not so much from the pedo references as from the bitter mindframe of the so called “brother” who relates the story.

So what’s the big deal if your sister does porn? Or your mother happens to be a prostitute? What’s the fucking deal if your grandmother loves to have sex?

Aren’t we humans for god’s (and our own) sake? Isn’t the procreation of our species dependent upon the act of penis going inside a vagina? How can people be so narrow minded and disconnected from the joys of reproduction? It’s an evolutionary mystery.

It’s paradigms such as these that overrate sexual intercourse more than it should, and make life difficult for rape victims, call girls and women in general.

Without prior notice, Mahinda has stripped the Director General of the Bribery and Corruption Commission of his duties. Read more here.

With his brothers running the bulk of the corruption, this might yet be one of his more intelligent moves.

Lankenews stated that even though Dr. Mervyn Silva resigned from being an MP, he was not appointed to the Constitutional Council. Well Dr. Silva, don’t fret. You might have just the right qualifications the president is seeking for the now vacant DG post..

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