This is a Buddhist Country, oi!

Warning: This post contains graphic violence and hate. I assure you, there will be blood.

I wait in line patiently at the gas station for my turn, and all of a sudden this orange buggy car comes from the other side and grabs my place. The retarded pump boy doesn’t give a shit and tries to pump petrol.

I screech my horn showing my rage and when the car doesn’t seem to budge, I jump off and walk towards the buggy. I was ready for a fight. I saw three men/boys from where I was standing and I reminded myself that I’ve fought a larger crowd.

But when I come near the car, I see a robe. A monk happens to be there so my initial rage is subdued to some extent. But the anger in my voice clearly showing I yell out that I was here first.

“Ithin thamuse mokkada karrana kiyaane,” the monk growls back. So what do you want us to do?

“Car eka passata ganna,” I scream back. Take the car back.

“Meka bouddha ratak oi!” The monk growls. This is a Buddhist Country oi!

Great, the fucker played the sinhala-buddhist card.

By now a couple of three wheeler guys were watching this. And I knew the truth behind what the monk said. If I wanted a fight, I’d had to fight not only the spineless bastards in the buggy, but also the rest of the crowd who was watching. My unoccupied car was also at risk.

So I backed down, and went in search of another gas station. But my mind was not still. My heart was racing. My blood pressure must’ve sky rocketed. I was not only angry at the stupid monk. I was angry at myself.

I was angry at living in a country like this where individual liberty is compromised for the sake of the pleasure of the majority. I was angry at not ridiculing the banal sinhala-buddhists more often and their lame pathetic excuse for a livelihood. I was angry at letting myself be educated in a sinhala-fucking-buddhist school, and never questioning their absurdities. I was angry of the fact that my father and mother were born buddhists and they didn’t have the guts to do anything about the senseless extremism that they put up with everyday.

I went home, and took out my sandbag. And I let all hell loose. With every roundhouse kick I crushed the monk’s skull in my head. With every punch I broke his rib cage over and over again. With every back-roundhouse kick I dislocated his fucking jaw and disfigured his bloody face. With every elbow, I broke his ear drum and with every kneekick I slammed his groin up his arse.

I killed him in my head. With my bare hands. Not once, not twice but thousands of times over. Everytime using a technique bloodier and gruesome than the last.

The blood ozzing through my knuckles, I sat there for a while and I waited for my mind to clear.

And suddenely I felt free.

I understood that if my brain and body was in the same pathetic circumstances of the above stupid monk, I would’ve done the same. I realized that my rage was directed at myself in another life. And rather than becoming a part of the solution, I was becoming a part of the problem.

I have what it takes to breakaway. Not only from this hell-hole of a country, but also from my own anger. Not only do I have the power and independence to escape the bounds of my race and religion but I also have the intelligence to destroy the memes that try to take control of my mind.

I felt Joy. Compassion. And oneness with nature.

Valentine’s Day Post

It was more of a valentine’s week.

Love seemed to be in the air, and people were literally dancing around half naked. It was a cross-blend between a Big Match and a mass orgy.

While coming back from work, I see a bunch of sexually-frustrated males waving Sri Lankan flags and shouting inappropriate things to women walking along the street. I see traffic policemen ignore some of the drunk patriot drivers simply because there’s too much of them on the streets. I see gangsters giving pep-talks and creating heroes out of zeros. I see completely rational people listening to them, and wanting to believe that now everything will be alright.

A valentine’s week. It’s was exactly that. A Celebration of Love. But not Love.

A Celebration of Peace. But not Peace.

To End the Ethnic Crisis

We should give 1 Million Rupees to every interracial marriage occuring in Sri Lanka from now on.

How’s that for policy?

Poya Day Serenade

It’s just amazing to wake up on a rainy day to realize it’s a holiday.

Sipping on my morning tea safely hidden away in my balcony, I languidly gaze upon the earthlings walking about hurriedly in the street. The men choose to run and avoid the rain. The girls jog a little, then stop and walk, then start to jog again – as if not quite sure whether their feet can achieve such a monumental task. The lazy drizzle makes elegant waves of resonance in the mud puddle across the street. Occasionally a child would ruin it, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

Time to make myself useful, so I trod along to the Supermarket. Buy a heap of things I dont’ need, and somethings I do need. The meat stall is closed, so I buy two packs of beef sausages three packs of back bacon. I’m usually a chicken guy, but it’s the poya day no – the government wants us to buy processed meat.

Damn, I have three quarters of the day left. Wat to do? I go to the Serendib Book Shop. Closed. I go to the Sadeepa Book Shop. Closed. I go the refrigerator man to fix my AC. Closed. Oh well. I guess they’re all enjoying the poya day, like me.Yay for them!

I come back home. The cold weather is killing me. I need to cuddle  someone. I try to chat up one of my ex’s for a booty call. She says she has to go the temple on the afternoon with her mum. I tell her that it’s just going to be 30 min tops. She knows me better than I do and tells me that what I really need is an intellectual whore, not a real whore.

Wanting to prove her wrong, I trod along to a massage parlour. Most of the massage therapists it seems, observe sil on Poya Days, and it so happens that the available girls are all busy.

I come back to me lofty abode, rejected, dejected and neglected.

Mix up some Heladiv Lemon Ice Tea with a little Red Label. Ahh…. Heaven. I wondered why I bothered to go out in the first place.

Rivira Editor Assaulted

The daily mirror says his injuries are not critical.

The country however is still asleep. “It can’t be the government. Must be some UNPers trying to distract attention from the war.”

The Beginning of Sinhala-Buddhist Terrorism

This is from a little chat I had with Gayan. Excuse the typos.

gayan: sin-bud terrorisam?

me: it was here a long time since

gayan: aaah..nw only its getting some limelight… cos all the time the light was on the tamil-catholic terrorism??

me: yep. two sides of the same coin

gayan: yes. they get what they sow..

me: not only they. we’re also getting what we deserve

gayan: we are already at the receiving end ney…so wnt make that much of a differecne…

whether we get hammered from praba or gota…I dnt think it will be any bit different…

me: it’s not about praba or gota

to praba we only lost land,

to sinhala-buddhism we’re losing our soul

gayan: naaaaaa…. we lost it in 56… with SWRD…

me: that was the beginning

gayan: and now is where it ends..

me: I wonder whehter it’s already over

gayan: no soul..no conscience, no problems

me: no life

gayan: yes…….. not like we had one anyway

so its a no loss

me: only the budget deficit

gayan: the draconian iranians will keep us afloat for a few years…after that who cares….

me: live for the moment and die another day?

gayan: well…. lets go where the wind blows…get too attached, die a magoot

me: the buddha spoke in similar lines i believe, with a little more prolixity

gayan: aaah…tough times, call for less sublime words

————————————————————

me: my frustration is that I feel completely powerless

gayan: power to do what?

me: No amount of reasoning can stop this Sinhala Terrorism

The more you fight it, the more stonger it becomes

gayan: something born out of unreasoned minds, cant be stopped by reason alone

sometimes things need to run their natural course…. different races learn in different ways….

take the germans…it took them 2 world wars and millions of deaths to understand that they just cant conquer the world…

like wise, let SL take its natural course…. maybe we will take 2000 years, but if it takes that much of time, it MUST take that much of time

me: It’s times like these when I wish that I was born a little later in human civilization

but anyway wut to do no?

gayan: yes

u will again have ur chance in another 100 or more years..

The Tao of Neutrality

As with everything, neutrality has a price. Neutral people tend to look foolish due to the lack prolixity and seem vulnerable due to the lack of opinion.

But in his speech, Jonathan Haidt speaks about the importance of being able to let go of personal value systems (liberalism/conservatism) and look at other people without animosity and xenophobia. In essence, becoming neutral. Because according to him, liberals and conservatives both play an important role in human civilization. 

So maybe I should stop mocking the homophobic, sinhala-buddhist, patriotic and religious bozos in sl?

Hmmmm…. I’ll have to sleep on it.

P.S. Thank you Sachith for the edifying post.

Conversation with a Sri Lankan Homophobic Patriot

(Until recently I thought my friend (D) was a liberal. His homophobia only came into view when our discussion shifted from the Dark Knight to Heath Ledger. This is an excerpt of what followed after.)

Me: Man, I never realized that you hate gays/lesbians?

D: I don’t really hate them. Well, gays do put me off. But I love watching lesbians. Doesn’t everybody? (Laughs)

Me: So why don’t you like Heath?

D: Brokeback Mountain was a shame to humanity no. Homosexuality shouldn’t be given “approval” from society. Heath Ledger was one of the stupid actors who couldn’t see this, and his film gave society the wrong message. His acting is pretty good, I know. But his decision as a human being to promote homosexuality is idiotic.

Me: So you don’t want homosexuals to live openly?

D: Yeah. It’s unnatural behavior. And for the sake of our children it must be stopped. At least in public spaces. The behavior should be frowned upon and be considered as a sin. That’s what religion is for and every religion in this world says that homosexuality is bad.

Me: Buddhism doesn’t say it’s bad.

D: It’s violating the third shiksha padaya. And also the Buddha told us not to engage in lust. Homosexuality is a direct violation of that.

Me: But then heterosexuals like you and me, also give into lust no? Aren’t we doing the same thing?

D: Yes if you’re a sex addict then you’re just as bad. Sex is only okay when you want to have children. Even in Christianity they say go forth and multiply, not go forth and have sex.

Me: Don’t you have sex with your girl friend?

D: No. I can’t believe you even ask that question. We will do that in due time, when we get married.

Me: Ok. Hypothetically, let’s say you’re right. But homosexuality isn’t just about lust no?

D: It is. All they do is have sex. They’re complete sex maniacs. You don’t know the story putha. If you look closely at leading girls schools in Colombo, there are lesbians outside waiting to grab young school girls and force them to become lesbians.

Me: So you’re saying that one can turn into a lesbian?

D:Yes, of course. Are you even listening to what I’m saying? It’s worse in the gay community. Most of the sex tourists that come to Sri Lanka prey on little boys. Why? Because they can easily be turned into gays. If we legalize homosexuality, then this won’t stop. A lot of children will fall victim.

Me: Imagine if you’re a gay person. It would suck if the world doesn’t understand what you feel..

D:Well that’s too bad. Homosexuals are the minority. And their rights are conflicting with the majority’s rights. Society should always consider about the majority.

Me: So I guess you’re an Anti-Tamil person too?

D:No. I’m an Anti-LTTE person. I respect Tamils. But they should realize that Sinhaleese are the majority in this country. And they should know that we should have the power to rule.

Me: Man, we have to talk about this later. Of all the people, I never knew you could be this old school!

D:Old School? Dude, you should come down to the real world. There are a lot of bad things going on in this world that needs to be stopped.

Male Bashing

Yes, we’ve all heard the stories of how Sri Lanka is a pretty bad place for women. And how men treat women as sex objects, etc etc. Kokatath thaile is national security these days, so blame it on the army.

But for those who are completely ignorant of the local culture and have landed in this fucked up isle by mistake, let me utter a few words for your enlightenment.

Love, in this part of the subcontinent, starts with marriage. There is no grace period where two people size up each other and check for compatibility. The scenario in most cases is like this. Boy meets girl; Boy looks at girl; Boy says ‘I love you’. Girl is overjoyed. They live happily (?) ever after.

Men are biologically inclined to be visual creatures. Nice tits + nice ass + innocent smile = perfect wife. They only realize that women are also subtle creatures that cry, have feelings of their own and have to be nurtured very often that not, is when the woman starts to speak.

A woman talking aloud is kind of like a lunar eclipse on a feb 29th.

The scarcity of this emotional connection throughout society is my explanation why women are only seen for their sexual merits. Close kin of course realize that their daughters and sisters are pretty much alive and have weird thoughts of their own.

As for everyone else, it’s kind of like a suspended fantasy of necrophilia.

A Sad day for Sri Lankans…

I always knew Mahinda was a little on the flip side. But this? Seriously.

Either he’s secretly advocating print porn/prostitution, or else he’s aiming for an all time high frustration among Sri Lankan men, believing that potentially fucked up youth will increase the recruitment level of the army.